There is no turning back. You (or your spouse) have decided to end the marriage. A divorce is not an easy process. If you are wondering how you can make it through this phase in your life, here are some helpful tips to follow:
- Be Prepared Financially
Gather every document you can find and make copies of them. For example, check register, bank statement, investment statement, tax return, employee benefits handbook, mortgage document, credit card statement, retirement account statement, financial statement, automobile statement, Social Security statement, credit card statement, investment statement, bank statement, tax returns, retirement account statement, and so on. Go to your home computer and copy all financial data. Do this regardless of your spouse is an employee or self-employed.
Learn how to manage the debt of your family. If you can, pay the family debt before proceeding with the divorce. This is because marital debt allocation between the divorcing couple can become difficult to negotiate. Determine what debt has been incurred by either one of you during or before the marriage.
It is also important to know the exact salary amount of your spouse. If your spouse is a regular employee, check the invoice. If your spouse has a business or self-employed, keep track of the flow of money each month.
- Find A Good Divorce Lawyer
Get an experienced divorce lawyer Jacksonville FL to help you go through this trying time. Before you pick the right one for you, talk to a few attorneys. Choose those who have been practicing for more than five years already, with a specialization in family and divorce law.
Try to have a collaborative approach with your spouse. This is because if both of you can settle your issues minus the litigation, divorce would be more affordable for you. If that is not possible, find a lawyer that has the capacity to litigate your side in court. In other words, look for a lawyer that can fight in your favor or settle your case expertly whenever necessary.
- Keep Your Integrity
Divorce can bring out the worst for anyone. But, you should take the higher road. No matter how betrayed, frustrated, or angry you feel, try your best to maintain your integrity. If your spouse is taking it negatively, do not follow. If you feel upset about the divorce and your spouse, do not post on social media to vent. Badmouthing your spouse to other people, especially in front of your kids is not the right approach.
Compose yourself and decide to be a better person. Aside from taking care of your kids, do not forget to nurture your mind, body, and spirit. When it comes to divorce, you need to face it with a rational head. View divorce as a temporary challenge or nightmare in your life. Do not let this moment ruin your life permanently.
If you must, you can take yoga class just to learn to meditate and calm yourself. There are many people who can help you cope with a separation. Eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of sleep, do something you love, see a therapist, and bond with positive people. Create a bucket list and plan what you can do at this moment onwards.
The situation now may be bad and painful, do not let it define you and see yourself as the victim. Self-pity should not have space in your life during a divorce.
- The Children Must Be On Top Priority
While a divorce can drastically affect everyone that is involved in it, do everything in your power not to let it affect your kids. If you and your spouse always argue and fight, it is better not to meet together with your children. Create a separate schedule to be with the kids so that both of you will still have a relationship with the kids. The kids should be on top of the list of your priorities. So, make sure you are involved in their school activities, sports, etc.
If you are battling for child custody, be a good parent. Perform your role as a parent seriously. Focus on meeting the needs of your kids, no matter how stressful this time is for you.
If you are going through a divorce, you need all the help you can get from family and friends. But, decide what is right for you as you will be bombarded with different conflicting advice. Do not forget to ask help from the experts such as a divorce lawyer, counselor, and financial planner.